Friday, September 12, 2008

The Sarah Palin Chronicles


Ok the joke mail is starting to pour in. I'm not making this stuff up, but someone is and my hats off to them. Chop shots of Sarah Palin in a bikini holding an automatic rifle. This one of her looks real though, doesn't it? Many of these comments really tickled my funny bone:
THE SARAH PALIN CHRONICLES

Little Known Facts about the Alaska governor, culled from the PalinFacts.com blog...

* Sarah Palin is not affected by global warming, evolution or gravity.
* Sarah Palin eats moose. Preferably live.
* Sarah Palin is so HOT that God had to send a hurricane to cool America off.
* Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines.
* Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.
* Sarah Palin wears glasses lest her uncontrollable optic blasts slaughter everyone.
* Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin
* Sarah Palin's enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List
* Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin about
* When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad
* Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience
* Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!
* In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful
* Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet - she ran there as part of her morning workout.
* Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
* Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
* Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
* When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
* Sarah Palin's finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden's still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.
* Sarah Palin isn't allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they're afraid she'll use it to kill liberals.
* Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.
* Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
* Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
* Sarah Palin doesn't need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
* Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.
* Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

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